Same as it ever was???

"he who breaks a resolution is a weakling, he who makes one is a fool" - Farquhar McGillivray Knowles

Today is a very special day for me. 39 years ago today, on a cold evening in New York City, I asked Sherri Rose Petrillose to marry me. Thankfully she said yes. I knew she was the one very early on, and that was solidified during the 9 months we had been dating. As a harbinger to our life of laughs and love, the day before, as we were driving into NYC, I had to pee so bad, I mean really bad, and in true form, laughter was on the menu as I contemplated getting out of the car while on the GW Bridge, somehow, I was able to avoid that decision as it probably would have resulted in an arrest or a straightjacketed trip to Bellevue.

But I need to rewind a bit. Life wasn’t always full of strawberries and homemade chocolate chip cookies. Sure, sure, sure, I was brought up comfortable, didn’t have college debt, had a car, a job and an apartment. One of the things I did lack? Coping skills. Having been raised in an era when my misdeeds or failings would be a reflection of my parent’s (more specifically, my mom) child rearing skills, I never learned to deal with failure.

So, through failed relationships, underachievement and lack of direction, I fell hard. What do you do when you decide you want to figure out life and start anew? Of course you move to the Boca Raton area of Florida in the early 80’s. An area that lacks a soul, but not lacking for temptation and other lost souls.

I wallowed for a while, for a few months of beach volleyball and nightlife (although I had no club-like clothes or a sports car) until I finally got a job. From what I recall or was told; Boca was a good time. Until it wasn’t. Lost my job, but not the appetite for vices. Three years in the early 80’s were like dog years, I aged, stopped taking care of myself and became bitter at the world. I could either stay put and continue to spiral down the drain, or, get the Hell out of Dodge and make a change.

The one thing I didn’t think about: wherever I go, there I am.

I had to want to make the changes from deep down inside. I had friends go to rehab only because it was court or family mandated. They went right back to whatever vice because they didn’t do rehab for them, but for others.

For those of you who know me peripherally through my career, you may be a tad surprised that at this point in my life I had:

1. No money

2. No car

3. No job

4. No place to live

5. All of the above

If you selected 5, you are on to the bonus round.

So here I was, back in Ithaca, New York, about as different from Boca as sugar is to flour. (Notice the white powder theme).

Crashing on a friend’s couch, with a broken relationship in tow, I started the road back. What habits and behaviors did I need to change?

And so I started the changes. After months of living in the same apartment yet separate rooms, I told my girlfriend to move out. I was working whenever and wherever I could and not being afraid of failing. The years in Florida had toughened me up, made me realize that the only way out of failing was not to be afraid of success, or the fear of not being successful. Things don’t always go your way in life, but that’s ok. It doesn’t mean to not try your ass off, to give up and to let others drag you down. It’s easy to surround yourself with people who don’t strive for much; there’s no pressure.

I got a job, a good job, and finally, the girl I had seen for the first time way back in August of 1981 right before moving to Florida, went on a date with me. I had thought of her daily my entire time in Florida. May 7th of this year will be 40 years since our first date. That story is an article in itself as some of you may know!

Finally I was with a person who worked hard, wanted more out of life, as did I, and loved me, flaws and all. And together, we’ve had a better life than I could have ever imagined.

So if you waited to use New Year’s to make a “resolution”, why did you wait?

The Rolling Stones say it very well in their song, Time Waits for No One:

Yes, star crossed in pleasure the stream flows on by
Yes, as we’re sated in leisure, we watch it fly

And time waits for no one, and it won’t wait for me
And time waits for no one, and it won’t wait for me

Time can tear down a building or destroy a woman’s face
Hours are like diamonds, don’t let them waste

Time waits for no one, no favours has he
Time waits for no one, and he won’t wait for me

Men, they build towers to their passing yes, to their fame everlasting
Here he comes chopping and reaping, hear him laugh at their cheating

And time waits for no man, and it won’t wait for me
Yes, time waits for no one, and it won’t wait for thee

Drink in your summer, gather your corn
The dreams of the night time will vanish by dawn

And time waits for no one, and it won’t wait for me
And time waits for no one, and it won’t wait for me

No no no, not for me...

Thank you for reading, please share with family, friends, co-workers and pets.

Be nice to everyone you meet…………..until next time.